HeadTrash 2: Dealing with and Overcoming Other People’s Junk

1 Anger-It\'s All the Rage, All the Time 13 --
Case History: When silence is deadly --
Expressions of anger: Eight signs to look for at home and at work --
A word of caution about anger: Calm down, and consider outside help --
Behind the Scenes with Tish & Tim: Anger Anecdote-Her politics versus their marriage --
An Anger Checklist and Comparison: How to identify anger HeadTrash in someone you know --
HeadTrash Alert! A Quick Quiz on Anger --
Counterintuitive side of anger: Use it constructively --
Advising the person with the HeadTrash of anger --
Change your mind, literally: Think your way out of anger --
Preparation reduces agitation and instigation --
Are you perfect? Is anyone? Reality, anger reducer 1 --
Laughter, anger reducer 2 --
Avoid it today. Confront it tomorrow in a calmer state --
2 Arrogance-Looking Down on Others to Build Themselves Up 34 --
Case History: The attorney who tries everyone\'s patience at family gatherings --
Arrogant as they want to be: Seven signs to look for at home \"and at work --
Behind the Scenes with Tish & Tim: Arrogance Anecdote-The entitled in-laws --
Confidence or Insecurity? --
What is the source? --
An Arrogance Checklist and Comparison: How to identify arrogance HeadTrash in someone you know --
A clinical definition that might be helpful --
HeadTrash Alert! A Quick Quiz on Arrogance --
Advising the person with the HeadTrash of arrogance --
Find the right time --
Don\'t take the bait, and don\'t debate --
If necessary, call for a time out --
Consider bringing in a third party to mediate --
3 Control-Always in Charge, in All Ways 54 --
Case History: Personal misconduct at home-The sit and run --
In control to run or ruin the show: Five signs to look for at home and at work --
Behind the Scenes with Tish & Tim: Control Anecdote-The overpowering traveler --
Good control versus bad control-Not knowing when to let go --
A Control Checklist and Comparison: How to identify control HeadTrash in someone you know --
HeadTrash Alert! --
A Quick Quiz on Control --
Advising the person with the HeadTrash of control --
Disarm with charm: Begin with positives and appreciation for their efforts and support --
Ask out loud, \"What can you delegate or share?\" --
Delegation benefits the delegator and the delegatee --
Expect \"reasonable\" excuses, and have rebuttals ready --
4 Fear-Expect the Worst and Avoid Taking Action 72 --
Case History: Fear of making \"the move\" holds a family back --
Fear masked with good intentions: Seven signs to look for at home and at work --
Procrastination: Put off today what you\'re afraid of confronting tomorrow --
Delegation: Handing off the ugly and avoiding the responsibility --
Sharing the blame to avoid direct confrontation --
Diluting the message: Finding the nerve to say less than you should --
Analysis paralysis --
Perfectionism: The search for the unobtainable ideal --
Hypochondria: Imagined illness to petition for a pass --
Behind the Scenes with Tish & Tim: Fear Anecdote-The consensus builder --
Caution versus fear: Pausing versus stopping dead --
A Fear Checklist and Comparison: How to identify fear HeadTrash in someone you know --
HeadTrash Alert! A Quick Quiz on Fear --
How do fearful people function in a world they just know is dangerous? --
5 Guilt-Two Sides of a Very Expensive Coin 93 --
Case History: Career path takes a guilt trip --
Guilty! Of being guilt-wielding or guilt-ridden: Seven signs to look for at home and at work --
Guilt-wielding 1 Feel sorry for me --
Guilt-wielding 2 Over reactor- The future of the world is at stake! --
Guilt-wielding 3 I speak for a higher authority --
Guilt-ridden 1 Self-effacer --
Guilt-ridden 2 Stuck in neutral-Unable to do what needs to be done --
Guilt-ridden 3 Numb from too much arm twisting --
Guilt-ridden 4 Giving away the prizes you\'ve earned to be \"fair\" --
Behind the Scenes with Tish & Tim: Guilt Anecdote-The too-good son and the opportunist mother --
Stop Guilt-wielding: Replace manipulation with inspiration --
Beyond guilt: Compassion instead of obligation --
A Guilt Checklist and Comparison: How to identify guilt HeadTrash in someone you know --
HeadTrash Alert! A Quick Quiz on Guilt --
Advising people with guilt-wielding or guilt-ridden HeadTrashes --
Guilt-ridden tip 1 See the clues --
Guilt-ridden tip 2 Learn to say no --
Guilt-ridden tip 3 Catch a guilt-wielder in the act --
Guilt-ridden tip 4 Learn to draw boundaries --
Guilt-wielder tip 1 Ask Yourself, \"Can it wait?\" --
Guilt-wielder tip 2 Ask what\'s best for the other person --
6 Insecurity-When Self-Doubt Wins Out 114 --
Case History: Compensation station-Coping mechanisms --
Insecure wherever they are: Eight signs to look for at home and at work --
Behind the Scenes with Tish & Tim: Insecurity Anecdote-Vie insecure parent --
Prudence versus Doubt: What\'s the difference? Its a list! --
An Insecurity Checklist and Comparison: How to identify insecurity HeadTrash in someone you know --
HeadTrash Alert! A Quick Quiz on Insecurity --
Will, skill, resilience: How insecure people overachieve and fool the world --
Advising the person with the HeadTrash of insecurity --
Overcoming the HeadTrash of insecurity: Changing perspective --
7 Paranoia-Uncertainty Is the Only Certainty 130 --
Case History. Paranoia at home-Life in the hot seat --
Paranoia: Seven Signs to look for at home and at work --
Behind the Scenes with Tish & Tim: Paranoia Anecdote-The paranoid bachelor --
Paranoia versus Insecurity: \"I don\'t trust you\" versus \"I don\'t trust me\" --
Two Types of Paranoid Responses: I do everything
 I do nothing --
A Paranoia Checklist and Comparison: How to identify paranoia Head Trash in someone you know --
Head Trash Alert! A Quick Quiz on Paranoia --
How do paranoid people succeed in a \"hostile\" world? --
Advising the person with the HeadTrash of paranoia --
Ask good questions --
Employ patience and compassion to get to the root of the problem --
Step back. Don\'t let their paranoia draw you in --
Have some goals, milestones, and measures --
Focus on winning the war, not the daily battles --
Suggesting therapy could be a gift.